Band 9 Writing Sample

Cambridge IELTS 17 | Test 2

Feb 06 2023

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Giving Reasons and Explaining why you feel something is a positive or negative development.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.
Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?


Sample Answer


The phenomenon of children using smartphones has been growing in recent years. There are several reasons behind this. While access to social media is the most common reason, gaming, online videos, and other forms of entertainment also contribute to this. The increasing use of technology in education, has led to smartphones becoming a central part of children's lives.

There certainly are positive aspects to this trend. However, the potential negative consequences must not be ignored. Excessive use of technology can lead to social isolation, decreased physical activity, and poor sleep habits. Beyond these obvious health hazards, there is also risk of children being exposed to harmful content. Children who spend too much time on their smartphones may also eventually become unable to engage in face-to-face communication, hampering their social development.

It is important to help children develop a balanced relationship with technology. Setting boundaries and encouraging other activities, such as physical exercise, reading, and spending time with friends and family, while also taking advantage of the benefits that technology offers is to key to achieving this balance. Monitoring children's online activities can also ensure their safety.

All in all, widespread use of smartphones can be seen as both positive and negative. While it provides children with access to a wealth of information and resources, it can also cause harm. By fostering a balanced relationship with technology, and taking steps to mitigate the negative consequences, children can be taught to navigate this complex issue while simultaneously reaping the benefits of technology.


Areas of interest

While access to social media is the most common reason, gaming, online videos, and other forms of entertainment also contribute to this.

The sentence is an example of a complex sentence which also uses two cohesive devices (connecting words) flexibly and accurately.

Excessive use of technology can lead to social isolation, decreased physical activity, and poor sleep habits.

An excellent sentence demonstrating flexible, precise, and native-like use of words and phrases. Remember that Lexical Resource is not about using big words, it is about using the right words at the right time.

All in all, widespread use of smartphones can be seen as both positive and negative. While it provides children with access to a wealth of information and resources, it can also cause harm.

A good example of a rounding (concluding) off sentences which not only succintly summarise the essay but also demonstrate good use of vocabulary and Coherence and Cohesion.

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